Hi Reader,

Yesterday, I was talking to my sister, Karen, on FaceTime, hearing about her follow-up doctor’s appointment. She was soooooo relieved (and a bit proud, I think) that she got an A+ from her doctor only two weeks after hip replacement surgery.

Then this morning, I found a text from her that inspired this email. Karen told me that after she got home from the doctor’s office and running errands (she was also finally cleared to drive at that appointment-YAY!), she felt great... and then crashed for a four-hour "nap" she didn't see coming.

Here's what her doctor didn't explain (or what Karen didn’t hear): the healing process from that kind of surgery takes an enormous amount of energy. No, you’re not DOING anything, and NO, you can’t see it happening.

It’s the Same With Personal Development.

That exhaustion you feel after that "AHA" moment? And the racing heart beats & mental fog after setting (and holding) new boundaries? The sweaty palms after biting your tongue and allowing someone else to be the idiot all by themselves?

That's not laziness—that's integration.

Your nervous system is working overtime to rewire decades of conditioning and make this new version of you feel safe.

Integration Tax

I call it the "integration tax"—the energy cost of becoming someone new. And just like physical healing, it can't be rushed - and has to be allowed.

The women who understand this process and honor it (instead of fighting it) are the ones who see the changes take hold. They also accept that they're never completely "done". Still, as much of a disappointment and bubble-busting truth as that might be, on the plus side is that when old patterns resurface (and they do), they're no longer traumatized by their own fight-flight-freeze responses.

​Read the full article here for my take on supporting your integration process—including why rest isn't procrastination and how to trust your transformation has its own timeline.

Real-Time Integration

I'm fighting "integrating" real-time, right here, right now in France. Ten months in (I cannot believe it’s already almost a year!), and I'm still avoiding French lessons like a day-old baguette.

I tell myself it's because I'm too busy writing the book and creating the Wayfinding program (true)...

Or, I feel that I’ve been getting by and didn't need to take classes (true - not true).

But honestly? It's probably because I'm now speaking at the level where what I need to learn is the "that makes no freakin' sense!" part of French. I hate not being able to “get it”.

Even at 60-something, my ego still wants me to be good at things - immediately.

Last call for Wayfinding Beta 2: If you're ready to honor your own integration process in community with other women navigating major transitions, our final beta program begins June 12. Pricing increases June 1, so if this is calling to you, now's the time. Join now.

Trust your timeline,

Lynnelle

P.S. Integration work is invisible, but it's not imaginary. Give yourself credit for the enormous internal work you’ve done - or you're doing now.

P.S.S. Here’s what a new hip looks like. Dang. - Doesn’t this look like it might take a minute to heal - Sawing and hacking out a worn-out hip bone and soldering in a titanium, look-alike? This integration tax is real.

Pausing and allowing integration to happen isn’t “not doing anything”. It’s doing exactly what you need to be doing. (Thanks to Karen for sharing her innermost hip.)