We all have dreams, Reader. But, how do you decide that it's time to turn your dream into a goal? How do you know when to say YES to your dream?Yes, I'm moving to France. It's something I've dreamed about for decades. But, how did I finally pull the trigger and say "YES", this is now my goal? I've been asked this more than a few times. Our objective for most any decision we make, big or small, is to be happier. We decide on the alternative that will lead to more happiness than the other. Would eating out make you happier than cooking at home?YES: You wouldn’t have to cook the meal or clean the dishes or get smack from your partner that your version isn't as good as the way his mom used to make it. NO: You've eaten out twice this week and have already spent too much money. You'd feel really bad about yourself and for lacking discipline. Smaller decisions usually don’t take much awareness. Bigger decisions, however, for example: “I want to move to France. Is now the time?”, require a different level of consideration, a conscious thought process, and an unwavering commitment to honesty and self-awareness. You have a dream.There are three questions you have to ask yourself and be unflinchingly real with your answers. 1. Is it possible?Not “is it possible” in a “what will they say?” or “I could never do…” way. But possible in a “within the laws of nature” way. If you find yourself saying “no, this isn't possible”, make a list out the reasons it's not. If you find any subjective beliefs on your list, just make note. 2. Am I willing to pay the price?This is where the rubber meets the road. The real price is paid after the obvious financial and tactical challenges are addressed. Have you thought through the after effects of what will be required? Put yourself there, envision taking the action to make it happen and honestly feel the weight of what you’re doing. Be prepared. Not only will you feel the weight, but there are also those in your life who will be affected, also. Even loved ones that are on board with the big change, once the reality hits, things can change and emotions can shift. Not to mention people not in your inner circle and how they might respond - whether to your face or just online. Be prepared. 3. Will it make me happy?There’s that word again, “happy”. What do you need to be “happy”? Do you know? What does “happy” even mean to you? Do you know that? It isn't an event, it's a state of being. And, then there’s the “it” to be clear on, too. For example, my “it” isn’t “a move to France”. It’s actually “living in France”. The 2 are very different and the move is a tactic. You want to live a fully-expressed authentic life?You have to be willing to have an authentically real & honest conversation with yourSELF. It takes a minute. And, it takes practice, patience, and self love. Good luck. If you need a sounding board or to talk to someone who gets it, I'm here. Schedule some time and let's see how I can help. xo Lynnelle "Unflinchingly Real" Wilson PS - And, be sure to block out May 22, 23, & 24 for a 3-Day virtual women's circle retreat. We'll important things like this, connecting with yourself, your future, and what happiness means so you can get on with living your best life, authentically and full. Don't Retire! ReWIRE. Block the dates and stay tuned. |
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Hi Reader, Here's a question for you, as we Americans are gearing up for our Independence Day celebration. (Yes. I fly my flag here in France.) An American in France When is the last time you took an inventory of your life values? Not the standard "kindness, understanding, and world peace" auto-responses. But the true values that guide your life choices and actions, when no one is looking. I won't go down the red and blue road with this subject, although I encourage us all to do some...
Hey Reader, A woman emailed me last week saying she was interested in Wayfinding but that she was "not really a group person." She'd rather figure things out on her own timeline, maybe read some books, and work on herself privately. I get the resistance to joining a group, being vulnerable with strangers. I’m an introvert and I do understand. But here's what I've learned: personal transformation is hard. Doing it alone makes it exponentially harder. Why community accelerates everything: You...
Hi Reader, Yesterday, I was talking to my sister, Karen, on FaceTime, hearing about her follow-up doctor’s appointment. She was soooooo relieved (and a bit proud, I think) that she got an A+ from her doctor only two weeks after hip replacement surgery. Then this morning, I found a text from her that inspired this email. Karen told me that after she got home from the doctor’s office and running errands (she was also finally cleared to drive at that appointment-YAY!), she felt great... and then...