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Hi Reader,

Here's a question for you, as we Americans are gearing up for our Independence Day celebration. (Yes. I fly my flag here in France.)

When is the last time you
took an inventory of your life values?

Not the standard "kindness, understanding, and world peace" auto-responses. But the true values that guide your life choices and actions, when no one is looking.

I won't go down the red and blue road with this subject, although I encourage us all to do some self-evaluation here.

The "How Did I Get Here" Question

What I want to talk about is the "how did I get here?" question a 50, 60, 70+ woman might ask herself. (I know I did.)

Until quite recently, I’ve spent my life living by what looked like the right values—security, productivity, being kind to others, doing what good, successful women (without children) do. It got me approval, promotions, and admiration from friends and family.

But something always felt off. Like I was a square peg, acting like a round peg so I’d fit in - and get the approval, promotions, and admiration I thought meant “success”.

I Wish I Trusted That Feeling

Here's what I wish I'd trusted sooner: Many of the priorities and values we live by aren't actually ours. They're external programming—inherited from culture, family, and our own desperate need to feel worthy, be loved, and fit in.

The difference is in your body:

External programming feels like chronic tension, language full of "should" and "supposed to," and resentment that builds even when you're "successful."

Your authentic values feel like an exhale. Time disappears when you engage with them. You feel more like yourself, not less.

The most common external programming traps:

• Productivity over peace (staying busy to feel worthy)
• Self-sacrifice over boundaries (giving until empty)
• Security of accumulation over freedom to choose
• Being needed over true connection
• Looking relevant over being authentic

The pattern is always the same: external programming is a strategy for getting something (approval, love, safety), while your inner knowing is about being something (authentic, aligned, whole).

Start here:

1. What did you love at 8 years old, before you learned what you were "supposed" to want? Those early inclinations often contain clues about your authentic values.
2. And the hard question: If you could disappoint three people and they'd be fine, what would you choose differently?

​[Read the Full Article Here →]​

Bottom line, you might discover you need to learn to trust your own guidance system. But first, you have to acknowledge what's guiding you.

Want to explore what external programming might be guiding your choices? Reply with "INNER KNOWING" for a simple values audit worksheet I put together. It will help you get started.

Xo,

Lynnelle

P.S. If you haven't already, check out the Substack channel. The full articles relating to each weekly email are published there. If you're so inclined, please consider the paid membership there.

P.S.S. I’m also thinking of starting a membership on the YouTube Channel and holding a live subscriber call each month. Reply to this and let me know what you think!